Thoughts While Running Outside

In my last post I mentioned that I've been using the treadmill as a sort of security blanket. Because of that pesky ADHD, sometimes I think too much.

So, in the spirit of keeping it real, here are thoughts that go through my head when I'm running in public:

Oh my god, is that my breathing?

Shit, this is hard.

Ooh a lizard/cat/cool bug!!! I must stop and look/pet/chase after it.

Oh my god, there was big rock right there. What if I'd tripped on it and hurt my ankle? 

(Imagine and re-imagine said scenario for at least a quarter of a mile)

Seriously, I sound like a wildebeest.

Faster. I need to go faster.

 OMG I'm awesome.

Okay too fast.

That person is going to think I need medical attention thanks

 to my abnormally loud breathing. 

I better say hello as loudly as I can so they know I'm okay.

 

Why am I veering to the right? (Imagine I'm a car with alignment problems. 

Figure out what kind of car I would be.)

I hope I don't stumble off this 2 inch curb and hurt my ankle. 

(Dwell on new scenario for another quarter mile.)

DONE!

I am a total badass.

It doesn't take an expert to figure out that I'm self-conscious of my breathing and terrified of hurting my ankle again. We all have our issues...the important part is that I get out there, get my miles in, and feel super awesome afterwards.

Night Owl to Early Bird

I have always been able to stay up into the wee hours of the night with little effort. After 9 pm? The ideas start to flow. I've come up with some pretty awesome ideas at night. My mind races and I feel inspired and motivated.

It sucks.

I envy people (like my husband) who can just quiet their minds and fall asleep as soon as their heads hit the pillow. Even with my nightly dose of melatonin, it can take up to an hour for me to finally doze off.

While doing some reading about this, I found an article that truly could've been written about me.

This was especially familiar:

3. Difficulty Waking
More than 80 percent of adults with ADHD in my practice report multiple awakenings until about 4 a.m. Then they fall into "the sleep of the dead," from which they have extreme difficulty rousing themselves.
They sleep through two or three alarms, as well as the attempts of family members to get them out of bed. ADHD sleepers are commonly irritable, even combative, when roused before they are ready. Many of them say they are not fully alert until noon.


Sleep of the dead? Check. In fact, I've often said that waking up often feels like I'm coming out of anesthesia.
Sleeps through multiple alarms? Check.
Commonly irritable and even combative? Check (I was going to insert a gif of the exorcist girl here because when I asked my husband what I'm like when he wakes me up, that was his immediate answer. However, all the gifs are way too scary for my little blog, so click on that link at your own risk).

Turns out that people with ADHD tend to be night owls and that we often have "disregulated circadian rhythm(s)". 

This week (and hopefully beyond) I'm conducting a little experiment to try and transform myself from night owl to early bird. My theory is that most of our behavior is purely habit based. I've already proven that I can change many of the choices I make simply by making it a habit- from the foods I eat, to working out, to my obsessive use of my iPhone (hey, I didn't say they were all good habits).

The plan is for my husband to get me up before he leaves- around 6:30 am (heaven help him), and a strict 10 pm bedtime (lights out, computer/kindle off). I'm hoping this helps me work my morning walk/bike ride back in (bringing my exercise up to an hour + per day) and will help me get away from doing my runs at 8 pm (which keeps me wired long past my proposed 10 pm bedtime).

Wish me luck, guys. This will probably be even more of a challenge than running post-ankle break, no lie.

 

My Brain on Running

Running makes me feel healthier both physically and mentally. When I run, my body feels strong and capable. That post-run high comes not only from brain chemistry, it also comes from knowing what my body has accomplished!

wearing a lot of pink helps too

Of course, running is just as much a mental exercise as it is physical. Runners know the mental game you sometimes have to play to get yourself through a workout- I'm queen of "run this speed until the end of this song, then you can slow down" or "make it to the first mile and if you feel like stopping you can". But running helps my mind in a different way. Exercise- especially running- makes my ADHD brain feel calm and focused. In fact, I've found it's just as effective as meds, with far better side effects. I definitely noticed the difference when I couldn't run for 4 months!

I was diagnosed with ADHD (Inattentive type) as an adult, mostly because I noticed lots of similarities between my son and I (he was diagnosed at 6 years old) that went beyond parental influence. When I brought my old report cards into the psychiatrist (in addition to discussing my current symptoms), it didn't take her long to find the hallmarks of ADHD; "excessive talking" and "does not work up to full potential" littered my records, from elementary through high school. I started taking Ritalin after my diagnosis (later making the switch to Concerta). The difference was insane.

my brain on ADHD meds

When I started working out, I noticed that even if I forgot to take meds, I was still able to focus and be efficient. And I didn't act like a super mellow, toned version of myself (which consistently weirded my husband out).

Don't worry, not everyone becomes a Squidward when they take ADHD meds

At this point, I've figured out strategies that work for me in addition to exercise. I will do a more detailed post on that at some point. I've found that simply having the diagnosis helps tremendously!

Anyone out there with ADHD or parenting a child with ADHD (or both)?
What have you found that's helped?



 ***Obviously I am not a medical professional and what works for me may not work for you. Always discuss any plans with your doctor before making changes***